Saturday, April 5, 2008
A little frustrated!
I don't even know where to begin with my level of frustration right now! I realized today that I have no identity beyond being a mom, and don't get me wrong I LOVE being a mom. I have figured out that this is why I am having a hard time getting excited about going to Paris. Without my children who am I supposed to hide behind, what am I supposed to talk about? Without them I feel lost and akward. I guess this is a natural thing and I am supposed to feel this way but I never thought I would feel so dependent on someone else. I have always been a pretty independent person. So to feel this way seems really weak to me! I have thought how nice would it be just to be able to go do whatever I want whenever I want, but then I thought what would I go do? If I would have asked myself that question 10 years ago I would have had a handful of answers. I guess I'm feeling a little lost today. Tears are good on occasion right? They cleanse the soul or something like that!! On a lighter note I am having a good day with the kids, the laundry is done, the sheets are changed, the dishes are done, and I am going to watch a chick flick tonight while my husband is off to the Priesthood session!WHOOO-HOOO!!
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7 comments:
this is all sounding strangely familiar :) I think every mom can relate to how you are feeling. I have had tears today too! I wish I could be there to watch a good movie with you.
Love ya & I'll pray for you if you pray for me! Deal? :)
Linz
Kristy, I love you! You are the cutest! You have a variety of identities! We just get to experience the mommy identity the most. I like the your Wendy's friend identity! I think that we have a lot of fun at girls night out and have loads to talk about (mostly our kids) but still, I think that you will relax after a few good cries in Paris and then you will be able to enjoy your wife identity with Drew and make lots of happy memories! We need to get together this week! I miss you!
I know just how you feel! Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one that feels that way, but I'm glad to know that I'm not. I feel like my kids are my life too. What would I ever have to talk about if not my kids? It's a good thing b/c all of us moms can relate to each other. I didn't even know you were going to Paris! Sounds exciting. I'm sure you'll have a blast. And a little time away from your kids will probably make you love them even more when you come back to them. By the way Porter looks so handsome and the girls look so pretty in those Easter pictures. Those are great pictures!
I know how you feel too! Somedays you just wish you were someone else! I do that often and look my kids are older! Kristy you are so wonderful! Enjoy your trip with Drew, these will be memories you will have for a lifetime. Your kids will be fine! I can't wait for another girls night out!
Hi Kristy! It's so nice to hear from you. If you go to Targets website just click on baby registry's and then our first names and the state we live in and you'll see us. Take care!
Kristy, I would like to offer you my 2 cents on your own identity issues but, I am sure it is not a popular view. So, I hope that you and your readers will take it as just my opinion, and what workd for me, and not judge me as a bad mother.
I have definately felt this way! It is hard when your children are so young that they demand virtulally all of your time and attention. In my opinion you must develop some intrests and hobbies of your own, independent of your sweet children and sweetheart. I know for me I lost myself in my family and forgot who I was and what made me tick, it was depressing. Rediscovering myself has been really fun for me. I love my dear family and usually my hobbies have to do with them in some way (ie scrapbooking, womens conf.), but they also have an aspect that is also all my own.
You are going to LOVE Paris!! If you are like me, you may have a day or two where you have anxiety about them that is almost unbearable, pray then for help. And I bought an international calling card from Costco (the best deal for the $) which I used to call home and talk to my family whenever I needed to.
Kristy, You know I love you! You are so much more than you think! You lift and bless my life daily! You put up with my antics and moods and just keep me laughing. Remember that this is a season and it was scary for me to think of what I would talk about with Wes for our trips away when we decided not more than 50% of our conversation should be about the kids. It's fun to rediscover why you love and married your sweetheart and somewhere under our Mommy cover remember as well that we are wonderful, empowered women! That gets lost in laundry, dishes, homework, taxiing, (the list could go on and on) but make time for yourself and you'll find yourself again. I know I too had to go through and still have times where I feel like I am an invisible Mom. Tears and a good girls night out help but your sweetheart is your best friend and believe me, there is a lot more fun there waiting to be discovered! Pretend you are dating again, what would you do? How would you dress? Where would you go? What are his interests, job, things that make him tick that you need to look at in a new light? This is a fun process for us and it is sometimes very eyeopening when you thought you knew someone well. What a new adventure lies ahead! Paris is just the beginning of your love affair with your husband!:)
Love,
Nicole
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