Today was one of those days that I wasn't expecting to hit me with full force as it did. I have been praying, nay begging, all week to know when this baby is going to come. "Is today the day" "Is she ready? am I ready?" My body is sending me all the right signals. The doctor is saying she's healthy and it could be any day. I've read all the books I can to know what this process is going to be like, so I my mind is prepared to take this on.
When I got up this morning I was VERY grumpy. I got everyone ready for church and sat down to realized that tomorrow will be 2 months since my grandma passed away as well as 2 months since I landed myself in the hospital trying NOT to have this baby. Then Our friends blessed their sweet baby boy and the dad just couldn't hold back the tears. This is their first baby and I can only imagine the spirit that has entered their home. If that weren't enough we sang one of my all time favorite Sacrament Hymns: "How Great the Wisdom and the Love"
How great the wisdom and the love that filled the courts on high
And sent the Savior from above to suffer, bleed, and die!
His precious blood He freely spilt; His life He freely gave,
A sinless sacrifice for guilt, a dying world to save.
By strict obedience Jesus won the prize with glory rife:
"Thy will, O God, not mine be done," adorned His mortal life.
He marked the path and led the way, and every point defines
To light and life and endless day where God's full presence shines.
In mem'ry of the broken flesh we eat the broken bread
And withness with the cup, afresh, our faith in Christ, our Head.
How great, how glorious, how complete redemption's grand design,
Where justice, love, and mercy meet in harmony divine!
It hit me like a ton of bricks! Sure my body is ready, her body is ready, my mind is ready. I have overlooked the thing that's MOST important. Is my spirit ready? Is her spirit ready? Am I ready to let the Savior help me through the pain that my body will have to endure to get this baby here? Until today I don't think I realy was ready, maybe I'm still not ready. All I know is that the Lord will let me know when the time is right and I need to trust in Him and have more peace and patience in this process. I'm looking forward to this being a very spiritual event and I can't wait! But I will!;)
1 comment:
Hang in there Kristy. Just think, in 3 weeks or less you will have your little girl there and you'll be so much more comfortable! Think of it this way....3 weeks ago the kids were just starting school and it seems like just yesterday. I think pregancy is so uncomfortable at the end to make the upcoming endless nights not seem as bad! Good Luck! I can't wait to meet Samantha Jane!
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